he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
