I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
