Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
