The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
