I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
