Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
