he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
