im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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