I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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