I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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