my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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