FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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