i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
