If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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