She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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