i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
