i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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