I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
