i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
