So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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