you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
