Sponge bath it is.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
