her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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