Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
