Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
