Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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