I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
