Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
