We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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