is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
time to smoke my breakfast
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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