i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
