I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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