Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
