Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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