At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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