so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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