so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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