this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
