No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
