The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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