just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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