You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
how drunk are you?
Several
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
