i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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