You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
