I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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