not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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