Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
