i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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