I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
