Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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