saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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