it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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